"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns"

-George Eliot

cheers to 2010

I think "low key" was the universal theme for this year's New Year's Eve. This could either mean a) that people just weren't in to 2009, or b) quite possibly be yet another sign that we are growing up. I'm thinking the answer is b). We hang on to phrases like "low key" meaning we could be doing something wild and spectaculor, we just choose to do something a little more "relaxed"...I think I like getting old.

New Year's Eve is a holiday that I always want to want it to be a bigger deal than it is. This has been quite a problem in the past. I have no desire to spend a fortune to stand in the freezing cold with millions of strangers with no restrooms to watch a ball drop in New York, or be oblivous to the rising sun in a dark, smoky bar, but I do love champagne, glitter and sequins. I am thrilled as a late twenty something I have reached a stage of life that I can put on my bling and do nothing....delightful.

This year we rang in the new year with a few of our favorite friends at Chop House. The food was better than excellent and the company was hard to beat. Low key and perfect.

After dinner we counted blessings for 2009, and made predictions for 2010. John scribbled our predictions for ourselves, as well as our predictions for each of the other couples present. The envelopes are sealed, but I am already looking forward to seeing what predictions have become blessings as we say farewell to 2010.

Happy New Year!! Here's to 2010 and all that it has to bring!

Thankful

"The first wealth is health."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today I am especially thankful for my health.

This time last year I was being wheeled by my mom in to Brookwood hospital for what turned in to a week long stay that I am very thankful to have behind me.

It is so easy to take good health for granted until you no longer have it. I too often am too focused on the "aesthetics" of myself that I fail to be thankful for a body that "works"..always gets me where I need to go with ease and pain free. What a gift! ...and one I too often fail to realize what a "wealth" that truly is!

This time last year

Something about a gorgeous weekend gets me thinking...I was outside for a majority of the weekend and like my Jur, http://lauramielke.blogspot.com/ found myself reflective, and even more so THANKFUL for all the prayers He has answered since "this time last year". So Jur, in response to your post....

While my "this time last year" does not involve any children of my own, there are so many prayers, both big and small that I am amazed how richly the Lord not only heard, but answered them in ways far better than I could have scripted...

I am not a "date remembering" person by nature (sorry Carrie, that may be why History and I never really got along), but as a Wedding Consultant, I could tell you what I was doing nearly every weekend of the last few years. When you work all week ordering, organizing, planning and anticipating a wedding day...those dates tend to stick with you. Even now, dates come again and I find myself thinking about a special couple that married on that day, and hoping they are even more in love now, eating year old cake, or toasting to another year of marriage. But, sadly, as I think about weddings last April, I am brought back to a place that I am beyond thankful the Lord carried me through.

Last April was filled with gorgeous brides, extravagant weddings, and a busy, busy travel schedule. I personally, however, was the closest I have ever been to an emotional breaking point. When I think about details of those weekends, my heart can go exactly to emotions of the day. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. My heart was heavy. I missed my husband, my family and my friends. My heart ached.

I agonized over the turmoil around me. I carried burdens that were not mine to bear. I allowed my heart to get involved deeply in issues that were not my own.

I was exhausted, and I was HOT. I worked hard. I worked all the time. I worked under tents. I lugged tables, chivari chairs, vases and flowers. When I was not working I was hot. I drove the faithful red jeep...in all her air conditioning-less glory.

I prayed for endurance. I prayed for direction. I prayed for peace.

Endurance, direction, and peace He gave.... In His timing. He gracefully removed me from the daily turmoil. Lightened the burdens from my heart. Part of my "career" path in to the summer would not fall under the category of ideal..but how much sweeter the blessings are now. I am thankful. Thankful for my job. Beyond thankful for my weekends. Thankful to spend time with my husband. Thankful to spend time with friends and family....and OH SO thankful to have a car with air conditioning!

He blessed me not only with new jobs, a few new dear friends, but also introduced new roles in to my life that I am honored to have and that I cherish...this time last year I was not an Aunt. I was not a Godmother. Obviously, just based on blog posts alone, they have brought me so much joy. Children I now love so much, were still, as my mom would say, "A twinkle in their daddy's eye". Prayers for pregnancies were answered. Prayers for swollen feet, blood pressure, and emergency c-sections were answered.

This time last year I was missing Grandmom McFee like crazy. One year later, I still am...but I am also so thankful for one more year with others that I love so much. Thankful for my health and the health of others. Thankful for time. Time to spend with others, and time to think about what a great God hears all of our prayers.

Now, as I think about the prayers I prayed, I think about how they were answered and I am reminded that they were not always answered immediately. What an encouragement to the prayers I pray now. Last year at this time, John and I hoped and prayed he would have the awesome opportunity and responsibility of Shift work. Answered prayer for opportunity, yes. But, as we press on, nearly one year later, tired of the schedule, tired of the hours, I am reminded that it is all a part of His timing...He will faithfully carry us through this as well, and I am sure in ways far better than could be scripted.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Pants. I dread shopping for pants...maybe dread is a bit extreme, but every time I shop, SO many things ALWAYS catch my eye way before pants....the rare pants that do catch my eye always look darling in the tiny sizes on top of the pile, but as I dig and dig...and dig(phew) to get to my size they somehow lose a little charm. Those that haven't lost all of their charm after surfacing from the depth of the pile, typically never receive a second date after our first rendezvous in the dressing room...

Jeans. We all have our own relationships with jeans. relationships... and categories. dark jeans, light jeans, casual, dressy, the jeans you always reach for, the jeans you would want if you might get dirty, the jeans that feel great with flip flops, the jeans that used to fit and don't really anymore but you press on with a longer top, and lovingly folded at the very bottom of the drawer is the pair that does not fit anymore. not even a chance. can't blame the dryer...done...long gone. but for some reason you just don't want to let them go....which brings me back to digging in the piles.

It is funny to me how sizes work... a while back (okay maybe a really long while) I would reach right for my size..put it on. love it. buy it. done....then there is a time when "THEY" suddenly started making the cut a little differently (surely it is the cut!) so I justify buying JUST that pair of pants a little bit larger.. after all..the way a pair of pants fits is way more important than the number right!?!(tell yourself that!)....before you know it ALL of your pants are the dreaded size you had to buy just that once due to the way they were cut? (odd huh!?)funny how that works....then you hit THE SIZE...

the "NO MORE" SIZE

...sadly, in my case, it has not been the no more lattes, no more cheese dip, no more yummy food size in hopes of rekindling the romance with the wonderful pair at the very bottom of the drawer size. for me it is the fine then....i will buy NO MORE PANTS this size size.... with little action this really just accomplishes one thing....fewer pants

Then I think..Ga! I really need some new pants..but pants aren't fun (the cycle continues). If only pants would just appear then I wouldn't have to spend all of my money on stupid pants.

Well this time folks...it happened! They just appeared! And appeared abundantly! John's sister Alyson can no longer wear any of her pants after giving birth to twins in the fall. darn. hate it for her. SO rude of me to draw attention to this matter you think...well, rude...not the case...this Mama is MUCH too SMALL for her pre-preggers attire...therefore her larger and VERY grateful sister in law received the benefit! Never have I ever been so thankful to be in the "no more size"

Alyson THANK YOU! all of your pants are very happy in their new home! ...oh, and that pair, the ones lovingly folded in the very bottom of my drawer have your name written all over them.

What a difference a month makes

It has been literally one month (and one day) since my last post and I can honestly say that the past month has been one of the craziest times of my life...not the typical "oh ga, we have been so crazy", but full blown crazy..causing me to learn how life can truly change in an instant.

A little while ago I posted and "boasted" about my wonderful transition out of the wedding planning world in to my "new" job. I was thrilled to enter a time that I had my weekends back..my nights...and my sanity..without going in to any details I was VERY wrong in every category. To friends I have met post college I am sure I was starting to look like I am a very wishy washy person who can not find satisfaction in a job. I guess I am okay if people think that, but it is a category I would never personally put myself under. I just think there has been some unusual circumstances and very odd timing.

I heard about two jobs and actually decided to interview with both. I then finally had the problem I had been praying for...I was offered BOTH jobs. Amazing! I decided to take the job with Clay Metal and Stone in Cloverdale. I accepted the job in August and was faced with having to tell yet another employer that I would be leaving.

Despite my environment, putting in my notice was shockingly hard for me. I have decided I am just not good and confrontation..especially confrontation that disappoints..and I guess I am vain enough to believe that my exit was sure to disappoint...oh well. I could write an entire blog about the day I put in my notice at Marquirette's. I am sure I would blush when I read it..so awkward but so relieved and thankful to be done.

I should have given an official two weeks notice...but understanding it is retail..and more importantly that I am worse than chicken it ended up being about "a week and a half notice" I gave my notice at the beginning of the week. Thursday I started not feeling well. Friday I felt terrible but pushed to go to work because I thought it seemed pretty shady to put in a notice and call in sick for the first time. I found myself at Primend on my lunch hour...little did I know that was it for me and Marquirette's. Primed gave me medicine to "get me through the weekend" but made me promise I would go see my doctor Monday. Problem my doctor is in Birmingham.

That weekend was so terrible and most of you have heard WAY to much information about all of it. Monday I was in a wheelchair going to my doctor due to the overwhelming pain. What I thought would be a quick office procedure resulted in the worst pain of my life and a full week in Brookwood Hospital. The crazy thing is I felt so sick and I had the lingering "just about to get to go home" mentality that I never once got cabin fever..just emotional and sick of being sick. That Friday I had to have surgery. My doctor is wonderful...almost as wonderful as my family(husband included) and friends for being so incredibly doting and loving. I can not thank each of you enough for all the goodies and support and most importantly prayers..I believe prayers made all of the difference. I was released from the hospital Saturday and started down the long road to recovery. I conquered or survived so many of my fears. I had never really been sick. NEVER stayed in the hosptial. NEVER had surgery. NEVER had an IV. NEVER really had major blood work done. I did each of these things and so much more. I will never take my health forgranted. What an incredible gift it is to be healthy!

This post should really have been several posts so that it is not so obnoxiously long but unfortunately that is not the case...I was supposed to start my new job Tuesday September 2nd. I was so excited about starting my new job and eager to get things underway. Sadly, I had to push my start date back to rest and recover. Last Thursday I had my post op with my doctor in Birmingham. She was thrilled with my progress and I was thrilled with her good report. Each day I gained more strength, felt better and starting to feel more and more like myself again.

Whew.

That catches us up for the most part. Monday I started my new job. I literally LOVE it. I hope and pray that I will always love it as much as I do. I go to work at 9:00...every day... Monday through Friday. 9:00 is the perfect time to go to work in my opinion. 8:00 seems just a little bit too early...AND I leave at 5:00. I do not work weekends and I do not work nights. I do not have to look at a calendar to know when I work..or wait on an emailed schedule to make plans. I was so giddy as I got in my car each day this week to head home. I really can not describe my gratitude. This job is sales and interior design and I honestly think it is a perfect fit. My coworker is as sweet as she could be and the showroom is beautiful. I could not ask for more. At this point my only problem is wondering how I am going to afford to eat at Nancy's everyday...its just next door..what a wonderful problem to have.

Tonight is my first official official Friday night. I guess I should be a little embarrassed that I am blogging and not doing something crazy! We did go to dinner with some wonderful friends and enjoyed good company and lots of laughs. We got home and what was supposed to be a quick email, facebook, blog check in resulted in the marathon post.

Tomorrow is Saturday. I will sleep until my eyes open. My husband will be home with me...sleeping until his eyes open (or until I wake him up) and we do not have plans until the evening. I honestly do not know what I will do with myself...is this really what life will be like!? ....incredible

One week ago today my life changed...now, I thought the day my precious Dyson came there was no way my life could get any better but I really was so wrong.

Most of you know the red jeep...you know its beautiful appearance, its special sounds, special smells, and special ways you have to occasionally hit the battery connectors to get it to start. You know that it does not have air conditioning...or radio...or a seat that is not broken....did I mention no air conditioning?!?!
Some of you know the dear Volvos I had the privledge of driving for the near decade prior to the wonderful jeep. The Volvos were loved, they were carefully maintained..they sometimes had to be put in neutral and "re-started" on the interstate despite the fact that they were automatics. One was driven with a small screw driver in highschool after the ignition fell apart and one was lovingly named Speedy due to the fact that its spedometer as well as so many other things did not work. The Volvo worked hard to drive to Auburn to visit John...the Volvo was so proud to be parked on sorority row. Do not get me wrong I have always had a car...for that I am very thankful...but always a car with "personality".

I have never been one to have any sort of self image associated with the car...or lack thereof that I drive. I think of cars as a super way to get from A to B and am honestly okay with whatever that involves...UNTIL i am hot....all the time......really hot..and until I find myself ready to go to church by myself and a car that will not take me there or find myself opening the hood solo in a parking lot after work hitting the battery in hopes of it cranking...

John is patient. He is wonderful. VERY few things ever bother him. He is so optimistic I really think his deep love for the red jeep is blind. I also think he is blind to the fact that it is one million degrees daily in Montgomery....

I was off work last Monday and John did not have to go to work until 1:30. That in itself is a miracle these days..John asked if I might like to go see our friend John Ingram. I didn't want to jump to conclusions incase he meant for breakfast or coffee, but was beyond thrilled when he said go see him at work...Jack Ingram Nissan

We talked and decided a realiable, efficient, couple of years old, gently used car would be the way to go. I was shy looking at the cars. I never fathomed such a "fancy" thing could be mine... then just for fun we drove a maxima....and then an altima...and I fell in love.

John went to work and I went about my day. Tuesday as I left for work John said I needed to be thinking if I wanted that car...What do you mean if I wanted that car!?! John and John crunched numbers and John tried things out on all his fancy, cute money graphs and charts and Wednesday morning was THE day. For someone who is not a car person this car fit every bit of the car favorites I had written thus far...It is pretty, black, tan leather interior, sunroof, radio, cd player, good fuel efficiency lots of "fancy things" most of you think is normal and AIR CONDITIONING..we adopted it Wednesday and I drove in shock the few miles to work..

The next morning was even better.....when I woke up it was STILL in our drive way. John and I no longer have to do the car dance of coordinating schedules to see who ever had to go the farthest or did not need to be hot had the green jeep...we no longer cross our fingers that the other can get where they need to go if one of us goes out of town. It was a win win...do not worry. John still has his beautiful red jeep. I think we would had to pay them to take it away...so let us know when you are ready to go pick up your Christmas tree....he will be happy to do the honors!

Sometimes Quitters DO Win

I have always had a subconscious "quitters never win and winners never quit" mentality...but that all changed when I finally found the courage to quit my job.

It has been a while since I last posted, but so much has happened. After months and months of prayer and continuous internal conflict, I made my decision to leave Weddings by Jill. I loved so much about that job, but I knew with out a shadow of a doubt it was time for a change. I hate to disappoint. I hate for people to feel that they can not count on me. I hate to leave tasks incomplete. I did all of these things when I told Jill it was time for me to go. Leaving that job was like breaking up with the terrible boyfriend I never had. I knew it was "over" and NEEDED to be over, but for some reason I kept hanging on. It was honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do...99.9% of other big life changes could be credited to life events that were out of my control. I had to quit my high school job to go to college. College job to move back to Birmingham. Leave my roommate because I was getting married and moving. This was the first time I ever said...I have made this decision for myself...if for no other reason but knowing it is what I need to do.

As soon as I "talked to Jill" the weight of the world was off my shoulders. I left the office after our conversation to run a quick errand and get myself together. Before I could even call John to tell him about the morning my phone rang. It was the owner of Marquirette's here in Montgomery. I met with him weeks prior about a possible position and we had been emailing and playing phone tag ever since. He said he really would like to nail down the position as soon as possible and was curious if I was still interested...WHAT?! little did he know that I literally JUST gave my two weeks notice not exactly knowing what was in store for me.

Two weeks came and went. Seemed so dramatic and important during the time, but it is funny how perspective changes with just a little bit of time. I tied up as many loose ends as I could, turned in my credit card and phone, tidied up my desk and left my office one last time. It didn't really sink that I was done. My last day at Jill's was a Thursday. Like a dummy I told Marquirette's I would start Friday. Mother's Day was Sunday and since I would be working the Saturday before I thought it would be helpful to try to meet people and figure things out a little bit so I would at least have a name to yell when I was lost in the craziness that Saturday. I jumped right in...so far I haven't sunk yet!

I have really enjoyed my new job. My feet not so much. I must say this is a difficult transition for someone who feels much better about herself in shoes at least 3" tall. ...AND I have to wear skirts and dresses...which if you know me and have noticed...this is something that I do not typically do. But hey, it was time for a change right?!? I just didn't know that change would mean that my faithful pairs of black pants would no longer be a part of my daily life...and I have yet to accept the fact that the heels really aren't either.

I was ready to escape the stress and drama. Ready for something that didn't require me to have all the answers. Ready not to have to memorize random things about people and the way they like bows tied or what seafood their future father in law may be allergic to. Stress level is way down. Still around a bit of drama, but right now I am a happy outsider to the drama. I know every job has an element of drama, this one is no different, I am just thrilled not to be a part. My job is not nearly as mindless as I anticipated and so far I am enjoying it much more than I expected. After all days fly by when I am surrounded by diamonds and china!!