10 Things you may or may not know about me....

tagged by Shea
I tried to think of things that some of you, even my closest friends really may not know about me. You all know I fall asleep in movies and that the blond in my hair is a birthmark, and I completely understand if we can no longer be friends due to my little quirks!

1. I love getting haircuts! I mean I ABNORMALLY love getting my haircut. As soon as the appointment is scheduled I have a mental count down to the day, and really look forward to it. I love getting my hair washed, brushed, cut, and styled ALL by someone else. I think it also has something to do with instant change...haircuts always make you feel better...the only problem is when I get really stressed, I crave instant change... I think it is pretty safe to say I got pretty "stressed" in college because there were quite a few haircuts that didn't make me feel "better" but it really does grow back!

2. I have been a self proclaimed "dog un-liker" (not hater jur) for the majority of my life. I just did not understand the dog thing. Despite having dogs growing up I honestly could take or leave them. I remember saying out loud that I would NEVER have a dog in the house. Then I accidentally went to the humane society one spring morning and accidentally fell in love, and my life was changed forever! Now, I am not saying I love all dogs, but I get "it". Barley and I are best buddies and I love him alot. We have conversations, our routines and I miss him when we are away and find myself wondering what he is doing.

3. I currently drive my SECOND 16 year old car! I feel like very few people can say this...and even fewer under the age of 82. My Volvo turned 16 the year we got the green jeep. I told myself, if your car is old enough to get its license, then it is time for a new car. The dreaded air condition-less, radio-less, seat broken, squeaky squeally, stinky, run down red jeep turns 16 this year so I only can pray that something great (or just something with air conditioner) will roll in for its "Sweet 16"

4. I am weird about resolutions. If I make one that is it...it is gone. I have gone for a decade with out carbonation, years with out chocolate and french fries...but why!? because I am stubborn. No one cares if I have these things or will be devastated if I have a sip of coke, but it is something quirky about me. The ironic thing to me that I cannot cross this stubbornness over to diets, daily workouts or quiet times. Strange....In case any of you are concerned with my mental health french fries came back in to my life when someone brought me the wrong lunch at work. I was so frustrated only a french fry could fix it, and chocolate was reintroduced on my wedding day after six crazy long years away from me...and what a glorious day that was!

5. I love a project. I can not say that I am always in the mood for a project but when I am I AM. My favorite days are days that I can wake up, not shower, and get started working on something I am excited about. The problem is sometimes I do not finish my projects promptly (I understand Carrie, but I can't blame it on being left-handed and can't tuck them away in a closet!) I have walls, doors and trim that still need painting, tile that needs grouting and china cabinets that need finishing....

6. I have issues with the concept of "Favorite". I can handle favoriteS but I am really not a fan of declaring ONE thing my favorite in any category. Food..ONE food?!? season?!? I love all four! It has taken me twenty something years to say "green" when asked my favorite color, but in my head I am thinking...."but I love orange...and sometimes yellow is great..." I guess it is a commitment issue I should work on, but in my weird mind I think it is rude to the other songs I love if I say another one is the ACTUAL favorite. I really like to be able to change my mind....I guess I live a mood based life. Strange I know.

7. I have a weird imagination. If I am in a room I am rearranging furniture in my head or making things different colors or mentally knocking out walls. Outside of my own home there really is no purpose in this, but I find myself doing this lots of places. Another strange unintentional imagination game I play is about money. If someone wins money on a game show, or a billboard declares someones earnings, I find myself mentally spending that amount of money. It is a little worse than a what would you do.."give to the church, save some, help the poor..." I actually calculate real items I would like to have and see how much of "my imaginary earnings" I would have spent.

8. I went to The University of Alabama started in the College of Arts and Science and my major....was Pre-Med. You can laugh..I think it is funny too. I had just finished AP Chemistry and AP Physics in High School, and I had aspirations of becoming a pediatrician...maybe I just wanted a pink stethoscope and to marry a hot doctor, either way....four years later I graduated with a degree in Interior Design.

9. I REALLY love the tanning bed. It is the perfect, warm, 20 minute nap. I know it is terrible for me and that is why I have not gone since 2005, but if it was not a health hazard I would go all the time...I think this one falls under the instant change thing too..I am a recovering tanorexic....but I know I have a problem.

10. I am weird about meat. I am by no means a vegetarian, but I am very weird about cooking meat. I get really paranoid about the temperature, expiration date, how long should I have cooked it, if it was frozen is it okay...If I cook meat 99% of the time I can not eat it. What is strange is I am 100% okay in a restaurant or someones home...the only time that gets me is when I am the Chef! This quality hinders my desires to become a domestic goddess and has resulted in way too many macaroni and cheese nights.

There is something in the water...

I am going to be an AUNT! I am absolutely thrilled! My Aunts have always been some of my favorite people, so I think being an Aunt is a very awesome and important job! I was hoping to have recent pictures of my sister in law, Alyson, and me for this post, but I am way to excited to wait! (I stole one from her blog 4/24 from their visit with us!) Alyson and Pat spent the night with us Sunday night on their way home from Mobile and we were so happy to get to spend a little bit of time with them.

I am a lover of all things baby and when the people I love the most tell me they are having babies I become a little obsessed. It is pretty unhealthy...my thoughts are filled with how the mommy to be is doing, baby names, nursery ideas, what they will do when this happens etc etc...I am pretty sure John would vouch for me on this but I promise it is all out of love.

Anyways, it goes with out saying that I am anxiously awaiting Laura and Nick's twin girls and have loved sharing each step of this exciting process with them! I do however regret my initial reaction when Laura AKA Jurrie told me that she was pregnant with twins. In a time I should have said "Oh my goodness! How wonderful! This is going to be double the fun!" I found myself saying "Oh Jurrie! WHAT are you going to do!?! Double this...double that...DOUBLE EVERYTHING! CRAP!" I guess that is when honesty and first reactions get you. I tell you this because Sunday night (or early Monday morning they got here at 1 am) I was asking Alyson if she was excited about her first doctor's appointment the next day. She said she was and that she really was just looking forward to hearing everything is okay and that is IS pregnant.....

JOKINGLY, I said "Well, don't come to me for comfort if it is twins because I panicked for Laura instead of immediately cheering her on......oh my gosh can you imagine TWINS?!?!? hahaha"

I should have learned from my last post during the cell phone conversation that I should watch what I say! Late yesterday afternoon Alyson called us to let us know how her first ultra sound went. When I answered the phone she said....."Well I am not calling you for comfort.........BUT..........we're having TWINS!!!!!" After fifteen minutes of "no your not....yes I am...no way...yes way...you are kidding...not kidding...promise...swear...." It is TRUE.

Not only will I be an AUNT I will be the Aunt of twins (Aunt of TWO sets of twins if you ask me!)
How incredible! I need to be sure I don't drink after these girls because there is something in the water for sure!

...maybe technology does impress me a little

Any of you who know me would know that I have never been considered a "techie" by any stretch of the word. I can not even spell the word! Daughter of one? YES! Sister of one? YES!! Married to one?? YES! YES! But, I have always enjoyed the "simpler" things of cell phones and by no means had any factor of my identity associated with the technology I have (or the car I drive for that matter! )

Unlike all Americans I do not own an ipod, a nano, a chocolate something or a blackberry...I honestly thought some sort of flip phone with a colored screen (fancy!) was enough for me. After all there are curtains and clothes and way more fun things to buy!

THIS WEEK as John and Nick gushed about the latest gadgets and new fangled boy stuff, Jurrie said "WHY would you ever even need all of that on your hip?!" and I responded "Yeah, I mean technology doesn't even impress me" (I sounded as smart as it sounded when you read that) The boys just shook their heads.....

It has been a rough week at our house for some of the "things" I count on most. I started my week with my vacuum cleaner dying. That in itself will require another post and I do not want to cry so I will not "talk" about it now. Needless to say you do not realize how much you love your vacuum until it is gone.....THEN on Monday afternoon it was absolutely gorgeous so our little family (John, Barley and me) decided to go for a walk. Barley was showing his dad a new trick where he stops quickly on his leash in a certain way where it wraps around John's legs and cuts them. After seeing this trick once, John learned his leason and moved out of the way as soon as possible....John got great at moving out of the way and my cell phone also got great at jumping out of his pocket and on to the sidewalk....

The lovely red flip phone (brought to you by Weddings by Jill) had a rough life of abuse. Dropped, kicked, lost in ginormous purses but Monday it met its match in the sidewalk and never was the same.

I accidentally left my phone at home on Wednesday. It wasn't working well but I still felt so weird with out one at all....I told Jill about the dreaded fall and she actually said her phone was having a lot of trouble too. The conversation ended with Jill saying "I hate our phones!!" I didn't say me too because it is paid for...each month...by someone who is not me or John.

Thursday I went to work. My focus was not on my phone but with dying curiosity regarding the genders of my favorite twins. I went in to my 11:00 meeting and Jill set something on the table in front of me and said "Don't say I never gave you anything" and it was this...

The AT&T tilt. It is BEAUTIFUL. Has a fancy slide out keyboard. GPS navigation. Internet.....it even "TILTS" to my surprise. I do not really know how to work it yet, but I am in love. ....Now if I can just find the money to buy John and iPhone the world would seem a little more "just".
Maybe technology does impress me just a little.

Fireplace Facelift

The Before.....

I made my dramatic entrance and immediately failed the very few readers I have by only writing one post....

BUT...The LJM has been very busy since the last post. One morning after John left for work last week I could not help but notice that the tile on the fireplace was looking at me funny. I have always despised the terrible maroon-ish, cheap, ceramic tile, but this day I hated it even more than normal and decided that I could not take it any more! I started ripping out the tile on the hearth and hoped that John wouldn't be too upset when he got home and discovered that I was destroying his house.

He came home and luckily he was not mad. That night I tore out the tile around the surround with full confidence that this would be a "do it myself project". I was already thinking about how proud I would be when I accomplished such a big task ALL by myself. Sadly, when I tore the surround out I learned that the original installer of the tile applied it directly to the Sheetrock.....so basically I was not only ripping out the tile, but also pretty much the wall! Oops!

I called my Dad and explained the situation. He told me several things to get at Lowe's or Home Depot. With confidence that I still had everything under control I headed to Home Depot to get everything I needed to continue on my little "project". I was so sad as I starred at the shelves and shelves of boystuff starring back at me. Even with my dad's excellent description I had NO clue what I needed to buy. Boo.... I was sad.

I called Dad back and told him I could not find what I needed and for some reason became way to shy to ask for help so I returned home with nothing.....sigh...and Dad said he would come help me the next day! Hooray!!!

Dad got to Montgomery around 9. I think the description of the remains of the fireplace I gave him the day before somewhat lived up to the destruction he discovered when he got here...He poked, tapped and studied the fireplace and told me to get a pen and paper. Immediately he listed several things we would need from the store. I jotted them down and we headed to Home Depot.

Dads are smart, but my Dad is very smart...he can read the labels of the boy stuff at Home Depot and understands what they say! He knew just what to buy. Our favorite purchase was "Wonderboard"....and it is incredible! He asked if I had ever heard of wonderboard and I told him I think I used to have a bra by them but some reason I don't think that is exactly what he meant....Wonderboard fixed the surround I destroyed and made it even better than new!

We worked and worked and worked and worked...Dad left at dark and the fireplace is ALMOST done! I still have to get a wet saw to cut thin tiles for both sides of the hearth and a piece for underneath the firebox opening. Then I will move on to grouting....YIKES! I will post the finished product, but our process pictures will have to do for now!

Barley helped us all day and was very happy with our progress. He loves spending time helping his mom and granddad.

Dad carefully evaluating my destruction......

The Mantle must go....

measure twice cut once

Hooray for Wonderboard!

tiling begins.....

The "Almost finished" after!

Okay...it is finally time for the truth. I can handle that I occasionally smash stale hot dogs in peoples' faces, and that I dip like a Major League third baseman and even that I costs $969 to fill up with gas and only get 4 miles to the gallon.......but this....THIS I can not take.......

My alter-ego Amanda Overmyer.....who knew that an American Idol contestant would be my breaking point. Sadly, this is not my first comparison to Amanda and quite possibly is not my last. After the first person told me that I look "just like her" I drove down the road listening to the radio callers compare her to the grandfather on an old television show and all were shocked by her awful appearance, amazed that such a person could ever be on television...hmmm....I guess I will add that to the terrible list of celebrities to which I have been compared. The good news is that it is only March and I already have an excellent Halloween costume in the works.

Well, now that the real LJM has come forth, it is time that you know how truly terrible I am, so I will share 7 odd things about me......

1. I do not fart in people's purses (which by the way was my personal favorite. I laughed out loud and it is now the name of this blog...at least for now)

2. I have never knocked down an old lady OR a fruit stand to the shock of popular belief

3. When I get nervous I do not smell my toes

4. When John refers to the 'pulp digester' he may, or may not be referring to me

5. I actually do wear glasses and or contacts however my eyes are not burning chunks of space rock

6. I actually did play soccer for a bit....but my feet were really hot

7. Most importantly I do NOT believe that I am “better than all you suckers that write blogs” I am certainly not above reading yours, in fact I read each of your blogs daily and find myself checking them often through out the day. I have "never stoop so low as to leave a comment on one." which sadly I must confess is due to my ignorance.

So hear I am the real LJM. I can not promise any posts remotely as intelligent or interesting as the ones I read daily from my favorites, but I have arrived in the blog-o-sphere none the less. After such a dramatic entrance I am sure to disappoint.....but if you people knew the people that I know that know photo shop.....or had an idea of the terrible existing pictures of me floating out there......you too would start a blog!